boredom and the blues

So, apparently I’m still alive, although you wouldn’t know it from how much I’ve been writing lately. Part of this lack of verbosity, I am sure, comes from having very little to write about, lately. The other part – the majority – almost certainly stems from my frustrations with my current employment situation.

Don’t misunderstand – I am thankful to have a job, when so many others don’t. In addition, I am thankful to still have a job, when 2 of my co-workers were let go 2 weeks ago, along with numerous other employees from our facility. I am perhaps even more secure in my position than I was previously, and yet this affords me very little pleasure, as I am generally bored out of my mind whilst at work. Not to mention being grossly underpaid, largely because I am currently in a position for which I am grossly overqualified.

These things happen, however, and I am using the layoffs as a wake up call, and have begun job searching. One of the differences between the North and South that I have had the hardest time adjusting to is the difference in salary levels. It can be frustrating.

In truth, I simply want something where I am not bored cross-eyed for 8 hours of my day, and where I am compensated at a level that is equivalent to my lack of boredom. Currently, I must admit, I am compensated at about the level necessary to endure monotony. So I suppose my current salary is in line with my current duties and responsibilities, for the most part – albeit perhaps a tiny bit lower than I would expect.

This boredom leads me to feeling cranky, and blue, and generally deciding I am worth every ounce of self-pity I can spare. Which, quite frankly, is ridiculous – so I have begun by reminding myself I am thankful to have an income at all, and taking advantage of the fact that I am still gainfully employed (and therefore not financially desperate for a position) to begin a job search which will hopefully land me in a position which I will be somewhat more engaged, mentally.

I think one of the largest problems I encounter is that quite frankly, I have no idea what I would like to be when I grow up – and sadly, I seem to be a grown-up. At this point, I simply want a position where I am not bored, not miserable, and not underpaid. Unfortunately, I’ve literally no idea what that would be – when a position shows up, I can say, “I think I would quite like that,” but it never truly gives me any insight as to what it is I should be doing in terms of a career. I sometimes wonder if this is normal.

In any case, should something fantastic show up, I’ll be sure to write about it, and in the meantime, perhaps I’ll get back to writing semi-regularly – especially as I know I missed several things that have happened, and feel terrible about all of them.